Monday, December 14, 2009

Rainy Days and Monday's Always Get Me Down

The Carpenters had it right, and here I am on a Monday thinking of things to write in my bloggy wog and coming up with very little. I'm not sure if my imagination took a sabbatical or Monday mornings have the inexplicable ability to make everything seem harder to do, but something is blocking my undeniable genius today lol.

I thought instead i would tell you about the dream I had this weekend. It involved egg nogg, the YMCA and the shire (yes from lord of the rings)Now if i had any idea how my mind sac lumped these three things together to form a somewhat comprehensible dream i may discover the secret of the universe. Alas i do not know, so instead i will give you a play by play of my trip to the land of nod.

As usual my dream started out by making sense, I was sitting on the subway listening to my i pod, looking at strangers and deciding if they were wearing appropriate winter attire (one of my favorite past times). We get to the next stop and a woman gets on the train holding a tray of tiny starbux cups (you've seen them, taken a sample drink - don't lie). You may have guess they had egg nogg in them, but once i drank them, i passed out cold on the train. When i woke up (in my dream) i was in the hospital being looked after by a hobbit. After a short question and answer i found out i had been brought to the shire to recoup. I didn't think to ask why, someone how i thought it would be rude. Politeness is key even if it is during REM sleep.

Moving swiftly on, I'm walking around the shire, recovering from whatever was wrong with me, when a hospital official (human this time) comes over and tells me that they need my blood as i'm the only one who survived the egg nogg ordeal and they can use it to make a cure ('I am legend' copyright infringement anyone?). I would like to apologize for lack of originality but can i be blamed if my unconscious can do nothing but jump around the blockbuster store that lives inside my head?

Anyway my dream, I agree to go with the gentleman and he takes me to the YMCA, which always smells like rubber and sweat, and I spend the first half of my time there trying not to to say 'it is fun to go the YMCA' which I obviously don't achieve. But no-one laughed in my dream which i think is fair punishment for a shit joke. I get taken into a small room which has black and white square tiles all over it. Then things get really weird.

When i was really little i watched an episode of the twilight zone about a girl who was getting plastic surgery for like the 15th time, apparently she was so ugly people couldn't bear to look at her. For the whole episode you only see her face in bandages, and your curiosity peaks to the point you want to reach inside the tv and pull them off. As the episode closes you see them confess there is nothing more they can do for the young lady. Angry and crying she tears her bandages off. There behind the cloth is the most beautiful woman I think i have ever seen and as they pan up, you see all the nurses and doctors have these grotesque pig snouts and wrinkled faces. The message was clear, beauty is subjective, it just depends on how we define it.

This however does not explain why nine, pig nosed wrinkly nurses walked into my dream room and started trying to tie me to the wall. Immediately i began fighting them off, Jackie Chan style, I swear at one point i jumped up the wall to do a matrix style roundhouse kick. Dream Meryl is very cool. Just as i was getting into it, the tiles on the wall start to disappear, the room disintegrates, and i wake up.

I know, I'm as frustrated as you are. How will we ever know if the egg nogg dilema gets sorted? Who were the nurses? Where was frodo? Questions that may never be answered. However this dream gives me hope that my imagination will return. Just look what's sitting up in my brainbox all day just waiting for my pillow to facilitate its escape.

Rainy Days and Monday's may always get me down, but in dream land the skies are always sky blue and imagination is your only parameter. Maybe tonight I may get the ending to my story, if i do I promise to let you know.


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