Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Question and Answer
So I was sent a bunch of questions over the last few months to answer but I feel really weird doing a Q and A because it looks a bit pompous and tosser-ish (new word) but now that I have 11 of them sitting in my inbox I thought maybe if I do them really quickly it won’t feel so odd – like ripping off a Q and A band aid
1. What are you afraid off?
Ok easy one, birds. Its not so much a fear as a dislike, when I was very little my dad took me up to Trafalgar square to feed the birds and lots of them landed on me and I ended up with three on my arm knocking each other over and scratching me up. City pigeons are the worst because they fear nothing, not even being trodden on but the ones in the country aren’t so bad. The only time I really got in trouble was in Venice when a million them took off at once and I ended up rolling in a ball on the floor while my friends laughingly picked me up.
2. What else do you write other than your blog?
Right now I am working on writing a television Sitcom, it’s so good that if I even shared a bit of it the universe would collapse on itself and we would all die. Although the peoples in suits seem unaffected by this and are happy to have me write it and rewrite it while they pitch it out for me. I am also particularly good at writing lists
3. Why does every blog entry come up twice on facebook?
It is a very slow process making people check out a website, so I have my facebook set to import each one and show it as a note as well, that way if you can’t be bothered to click you can just read it there…lazy bastards
4. How much do you earn from your blog
You cheeky thing you asking about money, but if you must know, very little. As I have demonstrated I love to play with the algorithms for the advertisements along the sides of my entries and if people click them I get paid for it. Please don’t feel you have to click on them to help me make money, really don’t, but if you see something that interests you go crazy! I started my blog as a great way to showcase my writing, and when I do go to meetings for my sitcom I am able to present them with a website to show them my style, plus I have a feeling they are dying for new writers with detailed knowledge of the conker championships
5. If you were stranded on an island what three things would you take with me.
Easy – Jack, Sawyer and Desmond (he is my constant)
6. What is your favorite TV show?
Impossible question, there are too many good ones, not to mention I change my mind daily. I guess if it came down to the wire and I had to pick to save a baby Kawala from being shot I would say Gavin and Stacey. I think because it felt so real and sweet. I didn’t pick Doctor Who, which came as a shock to me as much as it did to you. It is amazing and excellent and funny and clever and smart, but Gavin and Stacy is similar to something I would write, it is what I aspire to.
7. Pirates or Ninjas
This one was sent anonymously, which is so sad because it is my favorite question of the bunch, and I gave it some real thought. I think Ninjas, it is because they could be anywhere, literally you could turn around and there would be ninja standing silently behind you. Of course you would then be dead, but you last thought would be ‘Oh my God a ninja’. Pirates are mostly at sea, you are less likely to see one and if you did you may be able to get away.
8. Do you have any secrets?
Lots and lots and lots and lots.
9. When do you normally write your blogs?
Sometimes I write them in my mind first while I am walking somewhere, and then write down as much as I can remember once I get to the computer. This is my favorite way of writing anything because I feel like you allow your thoughts to come to completion without being interrupted by getting it all down. If I do write them off the cusp it will normally be late at night, or on my break at work all depending on whether something has sparked my interest. I’m a little like a goldfish though, so I have a short period of time before I forget what I am thinking of have moved onto something else.
10. Is everything you write true?
I worry from this question that Danka (from Persia) you are assuming what I have written is so manic it might be made up. Unfortunately everything that I write actually happened or is happening or I think may happen. I don’t imagine my life to be any weirder than anyone elses but I do realize the way I write is. Introspection can be a blessing or a curse but I am off the belief that if you can laugh about anything that happens to you life is a little more enjoyable and a lot more fun. I should add that my entire blog about being afraid of padlocks wasn’t true but I hope from the tone of it you realized I was purposely lying to you readers to get out of trouble for not blogging in a while.
11. Do you want to become an internet star?
I would love a hundred billion people to read my website everyday but it isn’t why I write. I once heard an interview with David Sedaris and he said that everybody has an idea to write about but only very few people put pen to paper. I wanted to make sure I didn’t fall into that category and started a blog to force myself to write, it worked. As long as I get to write all the time and keep my focus I’d be happy even if no one read it.
Ok and we are done, feel free to send me anymore questions you have, or just leave them in the comments box. In fact I demand more comments, my special counter of page impressions is up to about 100 a day now and if you all leave a message it will make me happier than a kitten in a cat nip castle.
Love to all of you