Third Star on The Right and Straight on Till Morning

The foray into adulthood is so unceremonious that I think it takes people a long time to realize that they have ventured into it. For me, I realized there would be no defining moment and no sense of achievement while I was walking down the road in a business suit and sensible high healed shoes. Here I was dressed like the very adults I had admired while heading to school in London. I looked like an adult, I was presenting myself as an adult but I felt very much like a child playing dress up.

There aren't really any defined parameters to being an adult, other than the obvious achievement of living for over eighteen years. I have always thought, to consider yourself an adult you have to be living on your own, and making enough money to pay your bills, but I certainly understand that there are exceptions to these clauses.

I think when I was younger I was under the impression that everything in life just falls into place once you get older, that being an adult would be one of those milestones in your life that are marked by celebrations and certificates. What I failed to realize is that growing up and growing old is all about learning who you are and where you want to be.

Socailly we are kind of told that getting a great job is tip top most important, number one priority in life, which to an extent can be true. But as I learn more about the world, I keep thinking that perhaps being an adult is more about turning childhood dreams into functional realities. It is easy to get lost in a need for money and status but I think the two things prohibit our ability to really think about things. I know that a lot of my thoughts are obscured by an instant need to make money to live, and really how could they not. It is easy to be adventurous, care free and spontaneous when you have the money to back it all up. Finding a balance between the two is what is hard

I have talked about balance so much in my blog, and so I worry I am becoming a little cliche. Perhaps my blog entries are becoming a little too self endulgent. I write about these things because I truly wonder if people have the same conflicts running inside their own minds. If there is no marker to tell you you have become and adult how do you really know that you have?

My biggest fear is that being an adult is accepting that life is essentially treading the same steps as those before you. Living a hugely similar but slightly differing life to the social norm. It makes me feel like peter pan, running away from adulthood because it seems so incredibly dull. Unfortunately there is no never never land, but perhaps I can try and bring a little of it's ideology here. Maybe I have it all wrong and growing up doesn't mean assimilation instead it is a practical aplication of ones abilities to meet one's dreams.

Seeing as I have no answer I shall just have to put every ounce of effort I have into doing what I love, which is writting and have enough determination to not give up on it until I succeed. Maybe I will have to put aside my desire for some concrete congratulations on growing up, and worry more about who I am than where I am at. Whatever happens if I really get in trouble all I have to do is follow the third star on the right and straight on till morning and then my biggest problem will simply be pirates.

Love to all of you out there.

Meryl